Yes, I am a hypocrite...!

When it comes to poetry, I am an ardent lover of metaphor and simile. But same is not the case with life. Life is not a poem after all. I can sense thousands of thorns surrounding me to pierce my skin in the name of comparison. Whenever someone compares me with someone or something, my insight hardly finds them sensible. In every pair of eyes I meet, a metric system pops out of nowhere. They measure me with respect to all possible things under the sun. Yes, comparison and judging haunts me like hell.

I am not writing this with the fear of being criticized. Even with the compliments, I always found myself embarrassed to the core. When someone says “Great, You did a very good job. You are just like ‘him’” or “You are not good enough. You should take tips from ‘him’”, both are same to me. I don’t have anything to do with the infamous ‘him’ irrespective of his rapport with me. I am neither negating his stature nor being jealous of him.  I am more worried that my integrity is lost.

The word ‘like’ happily starts off the funeral of my uniqueness. May be I would have done like him, May be I was not as good as him. But that doesn’t mean I am following him or I should follow him. I am really terrified that my interest of growing up would end up losing to my fear of being compared.

This was all about people who know me and judge me with whatever they perceived from me. Then there are people who are a notch higher. They judge me to decide whether they want to know me or not.

Their area of assessment is so vast that they could take anything from my head to toe to shed their version of me with a long boring definition that only they could understand. Even I do the same in my stories to establish my characters. But when I get back the dose of same, I get irritated to the core. At least my characters don’t coexist with us to get irritated.

Already the discrimination is so diversified that it has numerous criteria like religion, language, caste, country and so on. These ‘Judge at first sight’ creatures are tempted to add the personal traits to the criteria list. This makes the mingling an uphill task for an individual. If people have problem with the way I walk and talk, I find no reason to socialize with them.

The judging pattern itself is a joke. Everyone got used to believe something as the ultimatum which is actually not. For example, we usually write our exams for 100. Does this mean 100 is perfect? Or does this even mean 100 is the highest number that the manhood has ever known? The answer is simply a ‘No’. Everything has been simplified and defined by our fellow humans. They have been done for some purpose but not every purpose.  If you are judging me against something, I would request you to prove the perfection of that thing. Eventually proof and perfection were also human discoveries.

It is a real pity that the whole point of criticism is forgotten by everyone. Instead of encouraging and pointing out the room for improvements, people started finding bliss in one’s self confidence. In the name of warning, people happily began to donate full stops to ideas.

It doesn’t mean you should not brag yourself. Even I brag myself for the way I do things. But the worst way to do that is by dumping someone else. Anyone can do anything without bothering another.

I do judge and compare. But my victims are only my characters whom I have infused the resistance to these things that I lack.

Yes, I am a hypocrite…!