'This drama is never going to end'. Varun thought as he was sitting in a girl's home for the bride seeing ceremony. That was not the first one but his insight alarmed 'This is not going to be the last one as well'.
The memories of his ex-girlfriend Vidhya always haunted him. But his parents never had a chance to understand his relationship with Vidhya which was a prey to the religious intolerance of the society. He stood against Vidhya's parents for her, just to watch the emotional blackmail drama taking her away from him. Neither did he find any reason to hate Vidhya nor to love any other girl.
It took 6 months for his parents to convince him for a marriage after that tragedy which was known to none. But he was never convinced to like any of the 8 girls which his parents managed to show him through matrimony's impulsion.
When he was waiting for this bride, he was served with hot tea and spicy samosas by few aunties who were subscribed to a complete makeup package from a beauty parlor. 'What if it is a genetic defect?'. That very thought scared him more to meet the bride.
At last he got a glimpse of the bride 'Sneha' who was coming down through the stairs. She was wearing a pink saree, yet managed to avoid a too girly look. She kept her makeup as simple as possible to give Varun a sigh of relief. She was coming towards the couch where Varun's family was sitting with a vibrant smile. Suddenly everyone heard a wail. Without a second thought, Sneha ran towards the child who was weeping as he fell down from the stairs. That was a heroic moment for Sneha which gained a place in Varun's heart. It was not a great deed but it rewinded back the memories of his Vidhya who loved Kids.
After a while, Varun and Sneha met in balcony to complete the formality of bride seeing ceremony. Varun's silence spoke while Sneha's words revealed clarity. Her thoughts impressed him to an extent.
At the end of their short meet. "So All good between us?", Sneha Pouted.
"Probably..." said Varun with a grin.
3 months later. A fiberboard in front of a church in Chennai read 'Sneha Thomas Weds Varun Paul'.
Sneha was dressed in white like an angel and Varun was wearing a black branded blazer with crisp grooming. The moment he saw his marriage poster, memories started to flow and so did tears from his eyes. He thought of his days with Vidhya when he designed few invitations in their name. He always thought the common starting letter of their names did enough magic to create a great invitation in turn a great couple too. It was a teary eyed wedding for Varun while it was an exciting day for Sneha who entered the marriage life with higher expectations and dreams.
A week after their marriage, the couple moved to an apartment in Bangalore which was their work town. That was one of the main reasons for matrimony to bring them together. But it stopped right there.
Varun's silence for Sneha seemed normally abnormal before marriage and became abnormally normal after marriage. They both stayed in the same apartment as more of roommates than husband and wife. Sneha could reach her office only through bus even if it was on the way to Varun's office. Her feelings for Varun never changed as she believed that someday she could get a glimpse of Varun's love. Prayer in church and purchase of provisions defined their moments of togetherness in their 3 month marital life.
The balcony in their bedroom gave what Varun couldn't. It was her dreamland which gave the hope of pure love and affection. She spent most of her home time in the balcony calling her parents and friends whenever she felt down. If it was pillows for most of us, it was that balcony for Sneha where her eyes would convey most of the untold stories. That balcony became her habit to avoid the embarrassing silence between Varun and her in the bedroom. She always made sure to come back only after Varun's entry into deep sleep.
It was a fine Wednesday morning. Sneha took off that day as she was sick. Sneha was having a chat with the neighbour along with a coffee while Varun was searching something furiously in the bedroom. That irritated Varun more and he shouted her name aloud.
"Sneha!!!"
Sneha was too happy that Varun called her name and ran towards the bedroom with the coffee cup in hand.
"Yes Varun..." said Sneha marking her presence with a brighter face.
"Did you see my wallet anywhere?"
"No, I didn't see it.. Where did you keep it last night?"
"Oh... You are so cool that enjoying your coffee and asking me the questions. Can't you even search it for me? Such an irresponsible idiot. Is this why I got married you for?" shouted Varun and went on to hurt Sneha more. Coffee cup in Sneha's hand and Sneha herself broke at the same time after exposed his other side. The anger behind his calmness was terrible. She started to weep and gave her face to the pillows. Varun left after cursing himself for marrying her and his irritation purely targeted Sneha leaving his missing wallet somewhere. The neighbour came to her rescue but her tears got too comfortable well before. At the same time, Varun found his wallet showing its teeth in the backseat of his car.
Varun's guiltiness clogged his guts to call and console Sneha. So he decided to follow an universal idea which he robbed from a girl ordering something in flipkart when he entered his office. He had decided to get his wife a dress as a disciple of husbands all over the globe. It might have sounded a bit weird as a human but the male chauvinist in Varun urged him to wipe his wife's tears with a gift. That was the same day when his office offered him a chance to take his wife to a star hotel for the weekend grand gala dinner arranged for all the employees.
On Friday Evening, when Sneha was returning from the office, their bed held a yellow salwar along with a note which read 'Get ready soon. We are going out for a dinner'. That moved Sneha altogether into a different world that she never thought to mind her hatred for yellow color. Her happiness was so huge that even the extra large salwar couldn't hold it. She felt so comfortable in that uncomfortable dress.
They reached the dinner place well before time. Varun introduced her to all his teammates and their wives. Everyone was in praise for Varun's love and commitment towards work. Sneha felt bad for not creating an impact in Varun's life as work did. Soon after the introduction session, Varun went with his colleagues to get some booze after telling Sneha not to wait for dinner and to have it with his teammate's wives. Varun was in no mood to get completely drunk but just a few shots of vodka. Alcohol never allows humans to control just like the desires. It ignited thoughts of Varun's old days which in turn made Varun to drink as much as he could. He was not in his senses and forgot Sneha's existence. He went straight up to the car and drove home.
Sneha was waiting impatiently after a hurried half tummy dinner.
"Are you still waiting here? I thought you went already.." said Ram, one of Varun's Colleagues, as he saw Sneha waiting for a considerable time.
"No... I was waiting for Varun to come.."
"Sorry.. He went already.. I guess he forgot you.."
Shock and anger sandwiched Sneha as she heard those words from him. But she somehow managed to avoid exposing it in her face.
"Oh Sorry.. Seems like he already messaged me to come home.. I didn't notice.. No problems.. I will go home" she said after checking an unsent and unreceived message in her mobile. She started towards the main road before Ram could reply anything. Her heart cried to shout at Varun but her continuous calls never seemed to bother him. She didn't have any money that can take her home.
She decided to get a taxi and pay after reaching the home. Tears rolled on her cheeks. She hated herself for being so unlucky. Her apartment security helped her to pay for the taxi. When she reached her home, Varun was sleeping in the couch with an ever disturbing snore. As usual, she gave all her feelings and herself to the bed.
Next morning, she bursted out in anger to Varun for the first time.
"Did I ask you to take me out? How careless you are... What if something happened to me?"
"Nothing happened right. Why do you want make it a big deal?" said Varun with an utmost carelessness.
"Why did you marry me if you don't like?... Am I a doll without any feelings?"
"See.. even I don't know why the hell I married you.. You can leave this home whenever you want"
She realised that it would not make any sense to talk about that to him. At Least the walls would have listened to her more than him. She didn't want to disturb her parents either. She cursed herself and decided to let things go on and not to care more about that.
Months passed. Things got a bit normal. It was ethnic day in Sneha's office. She made her mind to wear saree on that day after a series of compulsion from her colleagues. She was not a regular saree wearer. So she felt it would be difficult to travel in bus with saree and decided to take her colleague's help in conveyance. But it was fate which again took up the honour of deciding things in her life. In the morning, she went with her colleague to office. Due to some reason, her colleague had to leave in the afternoon itself. She decided to give it a try to call Varun and tell him to pick her up in his way.
"Varun... Can you please come and pick me while going home?"
"No.. I will be late. You take a bus and go to home.."
"No Varun.. I am in Saree.. It will be difficult for me to go in bus"
"Or take a cab and go... I am very busy now.."
"But Varun please...."
"Can't you get What I am saying? I am really busy.."
"Sorr.." The call was disconnected before she could complete her sorry. After yielding a yet another break in her broken heart, she decided to take a cab. But she had to cross the road to take the cab. Her eyes were on the signal but her mind wasn't. She started to cross the road and reached halfway mark. Before her eyes could send a message to her mind that signal turned red, the place where she landed turned red as a car swiftly crossed the place ignoring her presence. She was losing her consciousness. Someone took her mobile to call recently dialed number which was Varun. Varun thought Sneha was calling again to disturb him and disconnected the call twice without any hesitation.
"There is some number called Varun and he is disconnecting the call. Let me try some other number.." said the stranger who had her mobile. In the meantime, she went into unconscious state. So did her feelings for Varun.
Message had been passed to all relatives who had started to Bangalore from Chennai immediately. When Varun heard the news,he rushed to the hospital with a heavy heart and saw doctors treating Sneha in ICU. He hated himself for hurting Sneha both mentally and physically. He felt himself to be the reason for Sneha's accident. A man with stone heart got stoned. Even tears refused to show up to support his feelings. He stayed all night in the hospital to see all his relatives and Sneha's parents reaching to ensure the health condition of Sneha. He felt lonely in the crowd.
After two days, when Sneha was back to consciousness, he was sitting in that room alone. She saw him and started to cry in fear.
"I am very afraid... Can you please take me to my mom? I don't want to be here. I want my mom.."
Sneha's fear scared Varun more as he made himself a dangerous creature in her life. He left the room and went directly to the church. None had seen him with so much of tears in his eyes except for walls of the church. Each drop of his tears fell down to raise his feelings for Sneha. For the first time, he realised his love for Sneha. He confessed in church for the sins he did to Sneha which didn't deserve to be forgiven. At last, he confessed to his father who was more of a friend which he ensured in yet another situation.
"This is not a chance... This is her rebirth and yours too.. Go get hold of her and show your love.. Start your new life..."
After her discharge from hospital, most of her time was with her mother. He slept alone in his room with tears conversing to pillow. Even after her mother left, Sneha was staying in second bedroom and never wanted to come back to their room.
One breezy night, he entered her room with a urge to express his feelings. His shadow at the doorstep was enough to make her turn to other side. He knelt down near the bed and started in a hope that she would be hearing.
"Sneha... You always had a question.. Why should I marry you if I don't like you? Even I don't have answer for that seriously... I was in a relationship and when that failed I hated to think any girl in that position. But when I saw you, my heart told me that you can be a cure. I accepted you with a gut feel that you could be a good wife to me and you were...."
His voice stammered. "But I failed to analyze whether I could be a good husband to you... Yes,I was selfish.. I could not give my love to you... To be clear.. I never tried to do that. Now I realize the mental torture I given to you... I know it is an unforgivable sin.. But I want you to accept me and forgive me for the sake of my love... For one last time, you have to bear my selfishness and let me to show my love to you.."
Sneha was unmoved and lying in the same position without any reaction. He stood up and saw her in deep sleep with earplugs on. Again he knelt down on the floor and stared at the ceiling.
In the morning, when Sneha woke up, she was surprised to see Varun kneeling down and sleeping with his head on the bed. She woke him up.
"Why are you sleeping here?"
"I was telling you my past last night which you never wanted to hear. Let it be... You were already my better half. Will you take me as yours?"
She saw the pure love for the first time in Varun's teary red eyes which she was longing for. She hugged him to get hold of it. No words had been spilled in the room after that. It was love and tears which conveyed everything.
